Blue Who

If I were talking to my shrink today (oh you know the imaginary one that I have) I would tell him (or would it be a her?), “Shrink,” I would say, “I am truly feeling BLUE today. All day BLUE. I can feel the blueness around my eyes and there is blueness closing in on me like surround sound.” But then, I look outside and into the blueness of the sky and the deep blue I see does not reflect how I feel. Looking into the endless blue of the Pacific Ocean, I realize that is not the blue I feel either. What is this: Depression or anxiety? Where is this beyond blue feeling blue state of mind? If I’m seeing red and feeling blue are Saturdays red and Sundays blue? As the sky turns from to gray to black and blue again I feel bluer still. Such that the skin beneath my eyes fills with warmth and water. My blue is trapped in profound irrational solitude as the shards of glass go slipping through my nervous fingers.